Wild Minds Wander

Phew. Day 4. This morning we woke up in Butte, Montana, and spent about four hours in the car getting to Flathead Lake State Park. Wow. Absolutely beautiful, and so sad to be only spending one night there. Upon arrival at about 2 PM, we learned it’s about a quarter-mile walk to the campsite from the parking lot. Carrying the tent and all the gear to the site was “interesting,” but we made it, and the site was absolutely beautiful. We have an amazing view of the lake, and we got camp set up in record time. We are getting really, really good at it! I felt really guilty spending as much as I did on the Gazelle T4 tent, but I wanted something that could be set up quickly and easily, and it does just that! Today, the boys and I set the tent up in 1 minute and 36 seconds. More time to play and less time setting up camp!

We went down to the water and all were instantly awestruck. The water was clear, and there were literally piles and piles of these beautiful, flat, rainbow-colored rocks. We played in the water for a bit and then headed nine minutes down the road for some thrills.

Alpine Coasters, Cold Water, and a Confession

We did the alpine coaster! None of the boys were quite tall enough to ride on their own, so I had to make the sacrifice of riding three separate times. 😉 It was definitely a good time, and all the boys absolutely loved it.

We headed back to the campsite and made dinner. Tonight was hot dogs, cheesy rice, and then we tried one of the freeze-dried meals – it was okay. After dinner, we got our suits on and went down to the lake to swim. They all said they wanted to, but the water was fifty degrees, so I was the only one who actually got in and swam. It was surprisingly nice!

We headed back to camp, got our hiking shoes and pajamas on, and went on a small pajama hike. All three of the boys ended up getting hurt – two requiring bandaids and one needs a chiropractor appointment – but all were in good spirits still.

We then went down to the lake to watch the sunset and skipped rocks across the water for an hour. That’s where things took a turn. We had a really good heart-to-heart at the water, and I cried. I let them know how hard this trip has been for me, and I told them all about my major moment at Grand Teton years ago and how I was chasing that feeling again. But I confessed that I didn’t feel like I was going to get it because I was sitting in this super magical spot, but all I could feel was dread and sadness. It’s just been them constantly fighting for the last four days, and it’s all I can hear, and I’m so heartbroken and tired.Calvin and Harvey totally got it, and I really do think they did. They both got very quiet, Calvin snuggled up to me (this is a big deal, him showing emotions!), and everyone just stared into the beauty around them, like, “Oh yeah, that’s what we’re here for.” They were just in deep thought. Theo didn’t quite understand, but he saw me crying and kept bringing me pretty rocks to cheer me up. My heart. ❤️

The Unfiltered Reality of Road Tripping with Littles

I really hope our little heart-to-heart begins to make this trip easier and that they see what I’m trying to chase because these last four days have been rough. Like, writing that it’s only been four days feels crazy to me because it feels like a century. Today, I even threatened to go home and literally pretended to turn around and drive home because I was so freaking fed up. Not my proudest moment, and it didn’t even work because they were still buttholes.

Calvin has autism and ADHD, and Theo has autism, and man, it’s just rough. When one of them is okay, the other isn’t, and more often than not, they just feed off each other, and it’s pure chaos. And then poor Harvey is just caught in it all.Although today was rough, once we were settled into the campground and had our heart-to-heart, things felt more peaceful.

Shifting Gears: Back to Nature

I’m happy to say we are done with all the fun, adventurous, “amusement park” type stuff for a while and will just be camping. We head to Glacier National Park and then Banff National Park. No more water parks and roller coasters. While they have been fun, I’m excited to get to what we intended this trip to be: deeply immersed in nature.